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Hairdresser

from Smile Later by Olive Anne

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lyrics

To find your voice seek inspiration from your grandparents who effectively raised you with the pride and poetry of your mother tongue. Don't be stunted by anxiety or the assumed silence of femininity. I know you've got sculptor's hands and chorister's lungs.

I put my faith in eradication of arbitrary borders and constructed nations but your national pride skipped a generation and left you with an undiluted sense of place and I want you to share your stories.

You laughed down the phone with such affection about your grandaddy coming home soaking wet and then undressing in the kitchen. Home from home was a comfort zone and a place to hang back from anxiety attack. The last place in existence.

Last night I heard about lengthy CBT and I felt that standing in my shoes it was you and not me. I felt the rattle in your chest, which persisted. I was forced outside in a sort of dis-existence, thinking 'I've never felt this crazy before'. I picked up my head and the first thing I saw was the white chalk scrawl on the Fishtank wall. I couldn't make out what it said, but it was something like 'Schizophonia', or 'Schizophonic'. Whatever it was sent me over the edge. Everything went dark and I could taste your icy heart.

The things that we don't say build up and they escape as the monsters in our stomach, the monsters in our head. But I'm just a phonecall away.

credits

from Smile Later, released March 1, 2013

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Olive Anne Cardiff, UK

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